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Texting While Walking

August 1, 2010

OMG!  Get out of my way!  Walking behind that d-bag who is texting and looking down creates the unique will to want to punch a baby.  Usually, to make matters worse, the person texting is also the type that has no sole on the heel of their shoe because they are so frickin’ entranced in their digital conversation about last night or tonight that they forget to pick up their goddamn feet.

Once you’re behind them, you get the feeling of panic that “I’m not walking as fast as I was a second ago.  Son-of-a-bitch!  It’s a zombie texter!”  Then a game of foot Nascar develops automatically.  You start to take the outside lane, but almost inevitably, the texting pedestrian drifts in front of you with little regard for your on-time destination.  Then, when the coast is clear, and your lane to speed opens up, a biker comes zipping by with an aggravated face as if to say, “Why are you walking shoulder to shoulder?  Can’t you walk in a single-file?”

At this point, you slide back behind your momentary arch-nemesis and let the biker wiz by.  It’s at this point that you begin to day dream of a pedestrian filled diag where a biker collides with a texting pedestrian and everyone around you cheers with admiration.

Finally, you make it past, and all is forgotten… until the next time…

Pedestrians… please pull over to text!  You’ll save lives… if only your own.

Take it easy Wolverines!

UPDATE:

Seems like Andrea Bartz & Brenna Ehrlich have been reading uMich uDish, because their segment on walking while texting seems mighty similar… although I’m glad to know that Walking While Texting is not solely an Ann Arbor problem.

Check out this segment from a CNN Tech Blog article posted a few days ago:

It’s one thing to walk and talk with your phone glued to your ear.Research finds that you’re more likely to get run over while yakking, but hey, that’s a risk you take. However, tucking your chin to your chest and staggering along whilst reviewing your Match.com updates or checking the Facebook RSVP list for your “America’s Got Talent” viewing party is both stupid (cars!) and obnoxious.

It’s all about spatial awareness: Those who walk-n-surf tend to weave to and fro, making them impossible to pass on crowded or skinny sidewalks. Park yourself out of the current and against a wall, finish your phone time and pocket your cell before re-entering the deadened, zombified stream of pedestrian humanity.

Special request to those of you who live in subway-arteried cities: I know you’re super eager to breach fresh air and burst into the service zone, but for heaven’s sake, wait until you’ve crested the stairs to turn your attention to your mobile.

Your slow climb is pissing off scads of already addled public transportation users. One day they will push you to your death, and all those shuffling aforementioned zombies will likely trample you under their distracted soles.

View Full Article:  Be polite and put your smartphone down

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One comment

  1. Really happy to see this website up and running!



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